So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
