fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
