i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize