i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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