Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
