he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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