I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
