we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I got inside last night via doggy door
i now understand why vodka
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
