he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
