you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
