then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
