idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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