since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
