you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
