found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
