Sry I called you an 8
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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