We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
