So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
