We got so high we made milksteak
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
