She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
