So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
