at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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