he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
