omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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