We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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