You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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