They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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