I bet he comes in French.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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