Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
