I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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