Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
