the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
