Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
