ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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