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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Breakfast tacos?

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I spy something regrettable...

  (716): View more from New York

  Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.

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• (909): View more from California

  I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha

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