Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
another moral hangover. fuck.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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