my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
