THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
