girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
someone owes me an orgasm
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
