I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
