So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im holly from the hills drunk
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
