The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
