I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
