i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
