if only i could text you this smell
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize