Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
