it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
