everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
