Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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