She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize