and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
