im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
