We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
