butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
