saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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