Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
