Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
