The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
