What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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